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How To Be Perfectly Miserable!


Those who are miserable love to talk about their troubles, and they constantly fret or grumble about something or someone. They have made a decision; ­ they are going to be miserable! And nothing anyone can do is going to deprive them of their enjoyment of that misery.
The following 7 things will allow you to be perfectly miserable:
1. Think and talk about yourself as much as possible. In every conversation, use "I," "me," and "my" as often as possible. Center all your thoughts on your own interests, and whatever you do, don't become interested in or concerned about others. Talk about your troubles to everyone you see. It won't be long before no one will talk (or listen) to you, and then you can really be miserable. (Romans 15:1) "We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves.”
2. Measure your happiness by the amount of money or possessions you own. Compare what you have (or don't have) with everyone you know. Determine to have more or better than your neighbors, and resolve not to be satisfied until you dol. Of course, by then your neighbors will have something new, and you can start over. (Hebrews 13:5; Luke 12:15) "Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have.” "And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man's life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.”
3. Be suspicious and jealous of everyone. Don't trust anyone. When another person receives an honor, explain to everyone that you could have done better if you had just tried. To be really miserable, you must envy everyone else their success and their happiness. That makes sense, doesn't it? (Romans 12:10) "Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honor preferring one another.”
4. Never forget a criticism or another person's mistakes. If you want to be miserable, you must have a good memory. When someone has criticized you, ­ or even if you think they have, ­don't ever forget it or let them forget it. And any time anyone makes a mistake, mark it down and periodically remind them of their blunder. As they say, misery loves company. (Philippians 2:3; Colossians 3:13) "Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves.” "Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.”
5. Never forget a good deed you have done.  Be proud of your occasional charitable acts, and if people don't know about them, tell them. Sulk and pout if others don't go on and on about your goodness and righteousness, while showing the appropriate gratitude. (Matthew 6:1) "Take heed that ye do not your alms before men, to be seen of them: otherwise ye have no reward of your Father which is in heaven.”
6. Shirk your Christian duties whenever you can.  Let others know that you are too occupied in important things to be responsible for mundane matters such as helping the needy, visiting the sick, or cleaning the church building. If you can't avoid the duties, then put them off till next week or next month. (Galatians 6:10) (James 1:27) "As we have therefore opportunity, let us do good unto all men, especially unto them who are of the household of faith.” "Pure religion and undefiled before God and the Father is this, To visit the fatherless and widows in their affliction, and to keep himself unspotted from the world.”
7. Refuse to forgive or show mercy to anyone. Accept no reasons for failure in others. Make everyone aware of someone else's mistakes, and refuse to accept anything but perfection from your friends (if you have any left) and associates. (Ephesians 4:32) "And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.”
As you can see from the Scriptures that we have read, that anyone who does any of these seven (7) things are sins in the sight of God. Let’s examine our own lives in view of these things, in order to see if we are guilty. Jesus said, "Let he who be without sin cast the first stone.” We must first clean up our own lives before trying to encourage others to clean up theirs’.
11/29/09  PM


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