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What Our Homes Need Most What Our Homes Need Most
Most of us here
have experienced what a good Christian home is all about. However not everyone
has been blessed in this way. In fact there are many in the world today who
have never experienced home life like God has intended. We live in fast paced
society where we rush from one thing to another and many just think about
themselves and have little regard to what makes a family strong and united. We
need to understand that next to the church the home is a very important aspect
of a Christian’s life and it was created from the beginning of time.
Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, "It is not good that man should be alone;
I will make him a helper comparable to him." 19 Out of the ground the LORD God formed
every beast of the field and every bird of the air, and brought them to Adam to see what he would call
them. And whatever Adam called each living creature, that was its name. 20 So Adam gave names to all cattle, to
the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was
not found a helper comparable to him. 21 And the LORD God caused a deep sleep
to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the
flesh in its place. 22 Then the rib which the LORD God had
taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man. 23 And Adam said: "This is now bone of my bones And flesh of
my flesh; She shall be called Woman, Because she was taken out of
With this being
the case we should take our home life very serious and do what we can to makes
our homes like God would want them to be. So this morning we are going to
examine several things that our homes need the most.
1. I would say
the first thing that we need to work on is stressing the importance of
keeping our marriage together forever. The divorce rate in this country
works out to be about 50% and about 51% of those divorces have children in them
which leaves a lot of broken homes with these children having to learn to how
to cope with this situation.
I know that there
are situations where marriages simply cannot work out because it take 2 tango
and there is nothing to stop an individual from departing from the marriage if
they decide to. Besides obeying the gospel and becoming a Christian, marriage
is one the most important decision that you will make. It important that we do
our best to pick the right person and to realize that God wants us to be
together forever. Jesus makes this very clear in:
Matthew 19:3 The Pharisees also came to Him,
testing Him, and saying to Him, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his
wife for just any reason?" 4 And He answered and said to them,
"Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning 'made them male
and female,' 5 "and said, 'For this reason a man
shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall
become one flesh'? 6 "So then, they are no longer two
but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man
separate."
Jesus is teaching
that Gods original plan from the beginning of time was for one man and on women
to be joined together until the day they die. He goes on to tell these Jews
that even though Moses gave them a certificate of divorce that wasn’t God
original plan and that we should abide by that plan.
However many of
those in the world do not care about God’s plan today. Today there is a
different mentality about marriage. The attitude is this. I will remain in the
marriage as long as it is convenient for me but as soon as it becomes too much
of a hassle or if I want to choose another path we will simply go our separate
ways. Many of the movie stars show this attitude as they usually have their
mate sign a prenuptial agreement. If they really considered marriage was for
life then they wouldn’t ever worry about such things.
As Christians we
need to do our best to keep marriages strong and to work through the problems
we run into instead of running away from them. I cant stress it enough that we
must be very sure of who select for a mate. I would also tell you that I believe
that its very important that you choose someone who already a Christian because
then you will know that you will be likeminded and have a companion that can
help encourage you through out your entire Christian life because they will
have the same respect for God and his Word as your do. If you marry someone
that isn’t a Christian and you think you are going to change them afterwards
then you most likely have your heart broken because most of time they will not
become a Christian and you will always be struggling as you have to leave your
mate at home as you go to worship God.
Many today don’t
really understand just how painful divorce can be for all the parties involved.
They may think they are going through a rough time in their relationship but
many times divorce is far worse solution than if the couple had tried really
hard to work out the problems in their relationship. So our first key
ingredient to a happy home is to have a marriage that works and last forever.
2. The second
thing a home needs is to have a genuine and growing love. Like many
other words that we use today Love had really lost its true meaning. However
the apostle Paul gives one the greatest description of genuine love in:
1
Corinthians 13:4 Love suffers
long and is kind; love does not envy; love
does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek
its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but
rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things. 8 Love never fails.
Is this your
definition of love? I hope that it is but it certainly isn’t the way that most
people in the world would define. I read a survey taken from a college where
they asked the students what love was. Some answered it meant getting what you
wanted others said it meant finding someone you were physically attracted to.
But according to Paul Love is so much more than this and its important that as
Christians we learn how to develop this kind of love for one another and
especial in our home.
Whenever we have
the kind of love that Paul describes toward our mate then we can easily see how
happy our marriage will be. You see when we true love our mate this way we will
be willing to put up with what we perceive as there weaknesses and we will be
able to focus in on their strengths. When true love is evolved you will have a
relationship that will make you happy and it will be a great influence on your
children. Even though Paul wasn’t a married man with the help of the Holy
Spirit he had great understand of how a married couple was to treat one
another. Notice how he puts the genuine love into perspective in:
Ephesians
5:25 Husbands, love your
wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 that He might sanctify and cleanse her
with the washing of water by the word, 27 that He might present her to Himself a
glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she
should be holy and without blemish. 28 So husbands ought to love their own
wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh,
but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. 30 For we are members of His body, of His
flesh and of His bones. 31 "For this reason a man shall
leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become
one flesh." 32 This is a great mystery, but I speak
concerning Christ and the church. 33 Nevertheless let each one of you in
particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
To me this really
put the love we are to have for our mate into perspective. We are to love just
like Christ loved the church. We all know how much Christ loved the church
because he gave his life for it and if we are going to be successful in growing
in our love for another we must learn to be willing to give it our all in our
marriages and we need to give it our all when it comes to our children. Our
Children are gifts from God and we should show them this same type of genuine
love. It was God who taught us to love and we can play a part in showing our
children by example what this genuine love is all about.
You see when we
have this kind of love in our family we can truly have a peaceful family which
is united together and willing to serve God almighty. So our home needs this
type of genuine love and we continue to grow in it.
3. Another
important thing a homes needs is good communication. One of the major
reason for divorce or friction within a family is breakdown in communication.
It takes good communication to make any relationship work especial when comes
to the married couple. There is great need for us to learn how to listen even
when we may not agree with what are mate is saying. James says this,
James 1:19 So then, my beloved brethren, let
every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; 20 for the wrath of man does not produce
the righteousness of God.
Boy this is some
great advice and will help all of us if we will take it to heart. It is so easy
for us interrupt our mate without hearing them out all the way and jump to
conclusions and then to chew them out up one side and down the other. Then when
we find out that we misunderstood our mate and caused all that friction between
us then we feel like real heel all because we didn’t listen and then think
about what were going to say. As Christians we must learn that yelling and
screaming just adds to fire instead we should take the advice of:
Proverbs
15:1 A soft answer
turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.
If we can learn
to control our tempers even when we are very frustrated and make ourselves
communicate with a soft tone you would be surprised at how much easier it will
be to work out a problem with your mate because it will lower the stress level.
Don’t forget
about communicating with your kids. There are many parents in the world today
that have no idea what is going on in their children’s life because they never
talk to them. The days of everyone sitting around the dinner table and eating
together seems to be a thing of the past but if we are going to have a home
like God wants us to have there is a need for us as parents to spend more time
communicating with our children. The same rules of communicating with a soft
voice and with love apply to them as well. Some parents will take out all their
frustrations of their day on their kids and because you kids are learning from
you, you will notice that they will deal with others in the same manner as you.
So effective communication is something that ever home needs.
Another thing
every home needs a great respect for God’s authority on the home.
Every institution
or organization must have some sort of structure of authority put into to place
or there be kayos. This is no different when it comes to the home. Lets look at
few verses that bear out the authoritative structure of the home according to
God’s Word.
1
Corinthians 11:3 But I
want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.
The main thing I
want to point out from this passage is that Christ is the head of man and that
man is head of the women. Notice this is God’s divine order of things. This
same authority is expanded in:
Ephesians
5:22 Wives, submit to your
own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is head of the wife,
as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. 24Therefore, just as the
church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in
everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as
Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
So what does all
of this mean? This means that the husband is to be the spiritual leader of the
home. This does not mean that they a dictator and that his wife is some robot
that is there to obey his every command. Rather it is a position where you lead
in love, consideration and protection. A husband should treat his wife any
differently than he would treat himself. Paul says:
Ephesians
5:28 So husbands ought to
love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves
himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh,
but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.
Now think about
this Christ laid down his life for the church because he loved it that much and
that shows us as husbands how muck we should love our wives. Not only are the
head of our wives Christ is the head of all men and how can we ever say that we
are being the husband or father that God wants us to be if we are submissive to
perfect will of God. To many times in Christian homes the women are having to
be the spiritual leaders. They are they ones that have to push their husbands
out the door to go worship God but it shouldn’t be this way. It is high time
that men take there responsibilities as the spiritual leader of the home more
seriously. It is the men that should be leading their family in the way of
righteousness. It should be the men that are encouraging the family to seek
after God. The men should be great examples of what Christianity is all about.
Men we should be playing an active role in teaching our children about God.
Ephesians
6:4 And you, fathers,
do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and
admonition of the Lord.
Notice Paul makes
it clear that father are to play part in educated their children in the way of
the Lord and that we are not to provoke our children to wrath which of course
goes back to having effective communication.
Now this does not
mean that ladies do not have any responsibilities in these areas because they
can and should also play apart in teaching the children about God. The women
should also be a great example in the way they conduct themselves so that they
whole family can see Christ working your lives. Wives would do good to
encourage their husbands to embrace their role as spiritual leader. Even in
household where the husband isn’t a Christian the wife can exercise great
influence toward him.
1 Peter 3:1 Wives, likewise, be submissive to your own husbands,
that even if some do not obey the word, they, without a word, may be won by the
conduct of their wives, 2 when they observe your chaste conduct accompanied by fear.
The God also has
instruction for the children.
Ephesians
6:1 Children, obey your
parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 "Honor your father and
mother," which is the first commandment with promise: 3 "that it may be well with you and
you may live long on the earth."
Children God
wants you to respect and honor your parents. This means you should do your best
to obey your parents because they are just looking out for you and they know
what is best. There are many kids today that do not respect there parents and
they become the head of the family because everyone tries to do what the kid
wants. But that is not the way a house hold is to be run. Part of the reason
why kids are not honoring their parents is because the parents having been
giving them a reason to. They have not disciplined them when they do wrong and
they have effectively communicated with them what they are doing is wrong and
that their behavior will not tolerated any longer. As parents is very important
that we teach our children to respect us and God almighty.
If we ran
our homes like God wants us to by having marriages that last forever, by having
a genuine love that continues to grow and by having effective communication and
having a household that respect Gods authority then we are going to have a
strong family unit that isn’t going to have a lot problems and they will be
faithful to God.
The message of
this lesson this morning is simple, when we get back to God’s plan for the
home, and follow his simple rules, then our homes will become what God has
intended them to be.
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