INTRODUCTION

1. Scripture commends mourning as a learning experience and an expression of wisdom and godliness.

   1. No one enjoys attending a funeral, but mourning the dead is far better than many other activities that are pleasant.  Consider Ecclesiastes 7:2-4:

      ²It is better to go to a house of mourning than to go to a house of feasting, because that is the end of every man, and the living takes it to heart.  ³Sorrow is better than laughter, for when a face is sad a heart may be happy. ⁴The mind of the wise is in the house of mourning, while the mind of fools is in the house of pleasure.

   2. The Lord Jesus showed mourning to be a path to blessing when He said, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted" (Matt. 5:4).

   3. In Romans 12:15, Scripture instructs us to "weep with those who weep," so we should share in one another's mourning.

   4. Jesus Himself wept with those who mourned for Lazarus (John 11:35).  He was described in Isaiah 53:3 as "a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief."

   5. Godly mourning is virtuous because it reveals a heart that is sober, knows love, and has sympathy.  Such a heart is approved by God, for God is pleased by these qualities.

2. David was a man who often mourned the deaths of others, and we will consider his examples presently.

   1. God testified of David, saying, "I have found David the son of Jesse, a man after My heart, who will do all My will" (Acts 13:22).  By this, it is evident that there is much to learn from David.

   2. In these examples, we will notice that unusual circumstances were present in every case.  Even so, David consistently mourned for the dead and the dying.

       

DAVID MOURNED

1. David mourned for Saul and Jonathan even though Saul had made himself an enemy to David.

   1. Israel's King Saul had long sought for David's death even though David did nothing but good for Saul.  This was due to Saul's jealousy of David and fear for his kingdom (1Sam. 18:5-9).

   2. Jonathan was Saul's son, but he did not share Saul's view of David.  Jonathan and David were the best of friends (1Sam. 18:1-4).

   3. It would seem that the death of Saul would be good for David, for he would be rid of his worst enemy and could then become king of Israel.  (David was anointed king of Israel in 1Sam. 16:1-13.  Also, Jonathan was Saul's heir apparent, 1Sam. 14:49; 20:2.)

   4. However, David did not rejoice over the deaths of Saul and Jonathan.  Instead, he deeply mourned.

      1. Saul and Jonathan were killed in battle with the Philistines (1Sam. 31:1-13).  When David and his men heard of it, "they mourned and wept and fasted until evening for Saul and his son Jonathan and for the people of the LORD and the house of Israel, because they had fallen by the sword" (2Sam. 1:12).  Notice that this mourning was not for David's friend Jonathan alone but for Saul and the people also.

      2. David even put to death the Amalekite who had slain Saul at Saul's own request because he had "stretched out [his] hand to destroy the LORD's anointed" (2Sam. 1:1-16). David himself had refused to kill Saul (1Sam. 26:7-11).

      3. David chanted a song of lament for Saul and Jonathan and commanded that the sons of Judah were to learn the song (2Sam. 1:17-27).

   5. From this example of David's mourning, we may take a few lessons.

      1. We should have respect and honor for those who have authority delegated to them by God in civil government (John 19:11; Rom. 13:1-4; 1Pet. 2:17).

         1. David's reverence for God would not allow him to rejoice over Saul's death because Saul was God's anointed. 

         2. The present situation is not exactly the same, but there are similarities.  No one in our government is anointed by God, but each one has God-given authority.

      2. We should love our enemies in the likeness our heavenly Father (Matt. 5:43-48).  He takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked, and neither should we (Ezek. 18:23; 33:11).

2. David mourned for Abner, who had opposed David and fought against him.

   1. Abner was Saul's cousin and the commander of Saul's army (1Sam. 14:50-51).

   2. David had rebuked Abner for failing to adequately protect Saul when David entered the camp.  For this, David said that Abner was worthy of death (1Sam. 26:13-16).

   3. When Saul died, Abner initially supported and fought for Saul's son, Ish-bosheth, as king rather than David (2Sam. 2:8-11).  Later, Abner later turned to support David (2Sam. 3:6-21).

   4. Joab, David's commander, killed Abner because Abner had killed Joab's brother, Asahel, in battle (2Sam. 2:19-23; 3:26-27, 30).

   5. When David heard of Abner's death, he cursed Joab's household, and he wept, lamented, fasted, and mourned for Abner (2Sam. 3:26-39).

   6. From this example, we may learn not to hold grudges in life or in death (Lev. 19:18).  In the end, David looked beyond past animosities and mourned for Abner because he was "a prince and a great man" (2Sam. 3:38).

3. David mourned for his son by Bathsheba before the child died.

   1. This son was conceived in the act of adultery by David and Bathsheba (2Sam. 11:1-5).

   2. When David's sin was exposed by the prophet Nathan, part of the punishment declared was that the child would die (2Sam. 12:14).

   3. When the child had been born and was very sick, David prayed to God, fasted, wept, and lay on the ground all night (2Sam. 12:15-17). Yet when the child died, David arose, washed himself, and took food (2Sam. 12:19-20).  David explained in 2Samuel 12:22-23:

      ²²He said, "While the child was still alive, I fasted and wept; for I said, 'Who knows, the LORD may be gracious to me, that the child may live.'  ²³But now he has died; why should I fast?  Can I bring him back again?  I will go to him, but he will not return to me."

   4. From this example, we may learn several lessons.

      1. God is merciful and forgiving, and He has at times relented from punishments in the past. Although God did not relent in this case, David's expression of godly sorrow was appropriate in seeking God's favor. When David wrote a psalm about these events, he said in Psalm 51:16-17:

         ¹⁶For You do not delight in sacrifice, otherwise I would give it; You are not pleased with burnt offering.  ¹⁷The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart, O God, You will not despise.

      2. David's example was rather extreme, but it does show that there is a time for mourning and a time to cease from mourning.  David's forward-looking ambition to go to his child is worthy of imitation.

4. David mourned for Amnon, who was his wicked son that violated Tamar, David's daughter.

   1. Tamar was Amnon's half-sister, and Amnon carried out a wicked scheme that brought great shame on her (2Sam. 13:1-20).

   2. When David heard of Amnon's sin, he was angry but did nothing (2Sam. 13:21).  However, Tamar's full brother Absalom had his servants to kill Amnon (2Sam. 13:22-29).

   3. When David heard of Amnon's death, he and his servants wept, and "David mourned for his son every day (2Sam. 13:36-37).

   4. We will consider a lesson from this example in conjunction with the next example.

5. David mourned for Absalom, who rebelled against David and nearly overthrew the kingdom.

   1. After Amnon died, David's son Absalom "stole away the hearts of the men of Israel (2Sam. 15:6).

   2. Eventually, Absalom had himself declared to be king, moved into David's house in Jerusalem, lay with David's concubines, and pursued David and his men (2Sam. 16:15-17:29).

   3. Despite Absalom's rebellion, David charged his men, "Deal gently for my sake with the young man Absalom" (2Sam. 18:5).  Nevertheless, Joab killed Absalom when he had the opportunity (2Sam. 18:14-15).

   4. When David heard of the death of Absalom, he was consumed with grief (2Sam. 18:31-19:7).  His grief seemed so inappropriate and unreasonable that Joab rebuked him.

   5. In the examples of Amnon and Absalom, we learn a few lessons.

      1. David's failure to restrain his own children multiplied his mourning.  This shows that avoiding necessary difficulties as a parent often results in even greater difficulties.  Consider Proverbs 23:13-14:

         ¹³Do not hold back discipline from the child, although you strike him with the rod, he will not die.  ¹⁴You shall strike him with the rod and rescue his soul from Sheol.

      2. David's natural affection for his sons was not conditional. He loved them even when they were unlovable, which is similar to the way God loves us (Rom. 5:6-8).  Such love can lead to mourning for parents, but it also can be a source of great comfort for children.