"Speaking the Truth in Love"

     God selected preaching to save and edify man (I Cor. 1: 18-21). Hence, throughout the history book of the New Testament (Acts), we read of the preachers "speaking" and the audience "hearing" (cp. Acts 2: 7, 14; 37). The "seed of the kingdom" is the word and the word is truth (Lk. 8: 11; Jn. 17: 17). With these matters in mind, please consider Paul's statement to the Christians at Ephesus:

"But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ" (Eph. 4: 15).

     In verses eleven through sixteen, Paul presents the means of spiritual growth. The early church in the absence of the complete word (New Testament) had miraculous gifts (vs. 10, 11). These gifts had a uniform goal, "For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ…" (vs. 12). The word that was directly supplied in connection with these gifts was to stabilize the early Christians and guard them against error (vs. 14). There was anticipation regarding the coming of the "unity of the faith," which was the totality of God's revealed will for man, the New Testament (I Cor. 13: 8-10, Jas. 1: 25). When the full word was delivered and made available to man, these miraculous influences would cease (vs. 13). "Speaking the truth in love" is part of God's plan and provision for spiritual growth (vs. 15). Notice that "truth" is objective and "in love" is subjective. Truth, then, is tangible while the motive for speaking the truth, love, is not as apparent. Let us now turn our attention to examining the matter of "speaking the truth in love."

     What speaking the truth in love is not. There is no small amount of confusion as to what constitutes speaking the truth in love. In fact, there are so many misunderstandings that in some situations it is impossible to speak the truth in love.

     Speaking the truth in love, first of all, is not holding back parts of the truth. Paul said, "For I have not shunned to declare unto you all the counsel of God" (Acts 20: 27). Paul appreciated the truth to the point of allowing it to make those whom he loved his enemies (Gal. 4: 16). Notwithstanding, I have had people say to me, "Don, you do not have to teach on all matters, in fact, if you love people, you will spare them the truth on especially painful subjects." One man who is today a preacher himself once told me relative to his parents who were members where I preached, "If you have love, you will not teach on divorce and remarriage because you know my parents have both been married to others!" Therefore, he demanded that part of the truth be withheld and used "speaking the truth in love" as his authority (see Matthew 19: 9). Love rather than causing one to withhold what is needed and applicable will actually precipitate "declaring the whole counsel of God" (cp. Prov. 13: 24).

     Speaking the truth in love is not watering down the truth. Some seek to dilute and weaken the truth (I Pet. 2: 1, 2). "Preacher, tone down your preaching," we hear and, "Do not rock the boat." The same writer who penned, "…speaking the truth in love" also wrote, "Preach the word: be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine" (2 Tim. 4: 2).

     Speaking the truth in love is not being so obscure that the hearers do not understand. Some preachers are skilled in circumlocution. After patiently listening to them, you realiz