A. This verse contains both a commandment and a promise.
1. The commandment is "honor your father and your mother.”
a. The Hebrew word translated as "honor” (kabad) is broadly defined as to make heavy, to make dense, to make numerous, to make abundant, or to make honorable. It is used in many different contexts, but the idea in the fifth commandment seems to be that parents were to be regarded as very important and esteemed above other men and women.
b. This commandment was to be carried out not just in sentiment but more so in actions. For a child to honor his father and mother, he needed to be obedient to them, to heed their instructions, and to support them in their old age.
2. The promise to Israel was for prolonged days in the promised land.
a. Compliance with the fifth commandment would natural and providentially benefit Israel as a nation.
i. It would teach them submission, obedience, wisdom, service, and other traits that would help preserve the nation.
ii. It is well known that the family is the most basic building block for society, and this commandment addresses the proper order within a family.
b. With this promise, it is evident that failure to honor parents would result in shortened days for Israel in the promised land. The providential consequence of dysfunctional families would be the collapse of the nation.
B. This commandment was repeated numerous times in various ways in the Law of Moses.
1. Notice Leviticus 19:3 – "Every one of you shall reverence his mother and his father, and you shall keep My sabbaths; I am the LORD your God.” The Hebrew word for "reverence” literally means "fear” so that the "reverence” of parents is similar to the fear of God.
2. This commandment was given again with the second giving of the Law of Moses in Deuteronomy 5:16 – "Honor your father and your mother, as the LORD your God has commanded you, that your days may be prolonged and that it may go well with you on the land which the LORD your God gives you.”
3. In Deuteronomy 27:16, the Levites were instructed to say aloud, "Cursed is he who dishonors his father or mother,” to which the people would reply, "Amen.”
C. Other instructions were given to Israel which expounded upon the fifth commandment.
1. Consider these laws regarding abuse or cursing of parents.
a. "He who strikes his father or his mother shall surely be put to death.” (Ex. 21:15)
b. "He who curses his father or his mother shall surely be put to death.” (Ex. 21:17)
c. "If there is anyone who curses his father or his mother, he shall surely be put to death; he has cursed his father or his mother, his bloodguiltiness is upon him.” (Lev. 20:9)
2. A stubborn and disobedient son was to be taken by his parents to the elders of their city and stoned to death according to Deuteronomy 21:18-21.
3. Several of the Proverbs also address honor for parents.
a. "He who assaults his father and drives his mother away is a shameful and disgraceful son.” (Prov. 19:26)
b. "He who curses his father or his mother, his lamp will go out in time of darkness.” (Prov. 20:20)
c. "He who robs his father or his mother and says, ‘It is not a transgression,’ is the companion of a man who destroys.” (Prov. 28:24)
d. "The eye that mocks a father and scorns a mother, the ravens of the valley will pick it out, and the young eagles will eat it.” (Prov. 30:17)
III. THE MODERN APPLICATION
A. The fifth commandment to Israel is renewed to us in Ephesians 6:1-3.
1. Notice the text – "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.”
2. This context addresses young children living under their fathers’ care (see v. 4), but it extends to people of all ages and requires all of us to honor our parents as Israel was required.
B. Violations of this commandment are common today, and they are even encouraged in some ways.
1. Many children display an ungodly dishonor for their parents.
a. Disobedience to parents is listed among some of the most appalling sins of the Gentiles in Romans 1:30, and yet it has become epidemic in our society.
b. Today, there is a prevailing lack of respect for parents among children that is promoted by television programs, movies, and pop culture.
2. Many parents do not teach their children to honor them properly, and therefore their children grow up to be adults who do not honor God.
a. Many parents do not expect their children to honor them. When they do this, they cause their children to fall short of God’s expectations.
b. By failing to teach their children honor and obedience, parents deprive their children of their wisdom and instruction.
i. Notice Proverbs 6:20 – "My son, observe the commandment of your father and do not forsake the teaching of your mother.”
ii. Consider Proverbs 1:8-9 – "Hear, my son, your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching; indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head and ornaments about your neck.”
iii. See also Proverbs 23:22-25.
c. Some parents do not behave honorably and therefore make it difficult for their children to keep God’s commandment.
d. Parents must realize that teaching a child to honor them has a lasting spiritual effect.
i. Honor for parents is not simply about gratifying the parents.
ii. Truly, the relationship between children and parents is the first model for a child to learn a relationship with God (see Heb. 12:5-11).
3. One way in which adults fail to honor their parents is by failing to care for them in their old age.
a. Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for their intentional neglect of their parents. Notice Matthew 15:4-6 – "For God said, ‘Honor your father and mother,’ and, ‘He who speaks evil of father or mother is to be put to death.’ But you say, ‘Whoever says to his father or mother, "Whatever I have that would help you has been given to God,” he is not to honor his father or his mother.’ And by this you invalidated the word of God for the sake of your tradition.” (See also Mark 7:10-13.)
b. Today, there are many like the Pharisees who dishonor their aged parents by neglecting their care. They invalidate the word of God by "rendering to Caesar” (Matt. 22:21) the responsibility that God has given them, and they assume a Social Security check from the government each month can be a substitute for the loving care of a grateful child.
IV. CONCLUSION
A. Let us remember that our Lord Jesus while hanging on the cross honored His mother by committing her to the care of the apostle John (John 19:26-27). If our Lord honor His mother even as He was dying, then surely we can honor our fathers and mothers also.
B. In the next lesson, we will consider the sixth commandment – "You shall not murder.”
