I met Lynn at church when she moved to Illinois from Texas. We had something in common being mothers of small children.  Her husband did not come to church with the family, but this did not stop her from bringing her children to church and being actively involved. This I admired.  Something else I remembered from Lynn from one our bible studies was her thought that everyone is entitled to a two-minute pity party.


I liked the idea of being permitted to think anything I wanted.  Here, I would tear into anyone who hurt my feelings, disagreed with me, made me feel unappreciated, or who didn't say or do what I thought they should.  I could play out scenarios over and over in my head on how I would deal with a certain people in my life the next time I saw them or the next time they said something. Plus, if I am only "THINKING" these thoughts and not saying them out loud I'm not hurting anyone -- so I thought.


The problem isn't that I had a two-minute pity party, as I felt Lynn is right in that sometimes you just need them.  The problem is I could turn it into a "Two Week/Month/Year Pity Party." When I didn't stop at the two minutes my thoughts consumed me. I blame everyone and everything else, rather than owing up to what I did.  I drained myself physically, emotionally but the saddest of all -spiritually.   I didn't like the person I was becoming.


Prayer and a LOT of choking down my pride helps me get back onto the right track.  God answered my prayers by knocking me off my pedestal, which I made pretty high.  Once I picked myself up I can see what my purpose in life should be - to serve him.  My little discomfort is nothing compared to what he went through for me.


Now, don't get me wrong I'm not there. I'm still learning to control my pity parties. I can relate oh so well with Paul with his struggle with sin in Romans 7:14-25.




Here are the TOP TEN things I do that help me stay on the right path well...a little longer.

1.    Don't borrow trouble by dwelling on my thoughts.  Thoughts can cause me to sin (Matthew 5:28).

2.    I must start my day with prayer asking God to direct my thoughts and what comes out of my mouth to be words that would glorify him. Personally, I don't know how he has time for anyone else because controlling my thoughts and mouth is a full time job. I'm sure he has Gabrielle on speed dial for backup.

3.    I'm not on Facebook, but I know I need to be careful of how I write an email, text or even my articles. Social media can increase the chance of being misunderstood no matter how many imojies I use.

4.    If someone response back to me using social media, I need to read and re-read it to make sure I'm not on the defense and truly opening up my heart to "hear" what the person is saying and then waiting before responding.

5.    Talk face to face to the person making myself extremely vulnerable because the walls that I put up to protect myself are gone.

6.    For every negative thought I have, replace it with two positive ones.

7.    Since I don't live in an ice covered palace, with an ice covered staircase, I can't stand at the top of it and sing "Let it Go" like Elsa in the movie Frozen, so I sing praise songs.

8.    Be totally honest with myself by accepting the fact that I could be wrong and I am I probably did or still doing what I find fault in others.

9.    Focus on turning my negative thoughts into something productive by getting off my high horse and physically serving someone else, especially someone I don't know that well, or that someone who consumes my thoughts.

10.Vent my thoughts personally to someone I trust. I have been blessed to have several family and friends who will be there for me.  However, I have to be careful not try to make myself look good while trying to get others on my side.   My friend and sister in Christ, Kathy Meyer, for several years have therapy sessions during our long runs.  For me, venting out loud puts things in perspective. Unfortunately, sometimes my raving sound so petty, and a lot of times I discover I am the one who is wrong. We know our sessions won't go any further than the two of us.  I never have to say to her not to say anything to anyone. It may be the lack of oxygen from the run to the point we can't remember our conversation or the fact we are both at the age where the memory is a .... What was I saying?


Having a little self-pity is not a bad thing. It's the dwelling on the self-pity that pulls us further and further from God, and not being with Him is the biggest pity of all.



Something to try:

1.    Set a timer and write down all your thoughts from a "Two Minute Pity Party."

2.    Set a timer and write down all your thoughts from a "Two Minute Praise Party."

3.    Write down which one brought you more peace and why?

4.    Read:

Ephesians 4: 29-32

Proverbs 16:24

James 1:19-21

Hebrews 4:12-13



Before you give someone a piece of your mind, make sure you can get by with what is left. ~Author Unknown


©Melinda Sutherland 6/1/ 2016













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